A glimpse into my 2%

I want to talk about being single. Yeah, you know that “Table for one” and that “No, I’m not meeting anyone, it’s just me”.

I’m going to start with this, if you don’t like what I have to say, simply fuck off and keep on scrolling. Yeah, that’s right, you read that correctly.

I’m not looking for sympathy, or mean/petty comments. I’m being raw af right now….and I simply don’t want to hear negative bs from anyone.

I have hit a point, it’s a different kind of point that I’ve ever hit before. Since writing is therapy for me, here we go.

Being single has its ups and downs, just like a relationship does. Some times I love it and sometimes I fucking hate it.

When I love it, not much can get me down. I enjoy my freedom, I enjoy hobbies and passions, did I already say that I enjoy my freedom! I laugh when people in relationships say things like, “Oh, you’re so lucky you’re single.” But sometimes it’s not all its cracked up to be.

When I don’t love it, things suck. Its frustrating. Dating sucks. Like it fucking sucks! Shoot, sometimes people really suck. From getting ghosted, to being asked to sext before you even go on a first date, to guys looking at you like “you’re built for sex”, to being passed up bc someone is “even more amazing than you are”.

Yeah all of that has happened and SO much worse. And let me tell you, when I’m bummed about being single, and I think this goes for a lot of single people. The last thing we want is for people that ARE IN relationships to tell us that we are lucky for being single.

Yeah I know what I said above, when we are happy about being single we don’t care, when we are unhappy about being single…it’s like salt in a wound.

You may have issues sometimes with your marriage or relationship, but at least you’re not alone. At least you have somebody, and you don’t have to worry about growing old alone.

No, I don’t want to hear, “well you have Joseph.”

I do not want to hear that. Do not ever say that to a single parent. It’s stupid, those words are stupid! First of all, Joseph will grow up and start a family of his own one day….and I will be alone. Second, I want a man who will love me unconditionally and hold me when I need to be held.
…..it’s a little creepy to expect that from my 7 year old child. So yes, those words, that more often than not come out of the mouths of people in relationships, those words are stupid. Don’t say them.

I also am tired of the cliches. Yeah, those are stupid too. Single people LOATHE them! Who the heck wants to hear, “when you stop looking you’ll find them.” …..you can not find something if you’re not looking for it. “It’ll happen when you least expect it.” …..I’m single, dating is horrendous, I honestly never expect it anymore. “You should be more, positive.” …have you met me, 98% of the time I am positive, yeah right now you get to see my 2%, congrats. But until you’ve been on the dates or put through what I have been put through….well you really don’t get to say ANY of that stuff to me.

So, people in relationships. Stop. Stop trying to comfort us single people with cliches and telling us how lucky we are when you get to not worry about growing old alone or ever have to worry about finding your other half.

Please, dont take pity on us, we go through our slumps and can do that for ourselves.

I have hit a new low in this messed up single/dating life of mine. I have deleted all of my dating profiles and uninstalled the apps. It’s not that I have given up, I wouldn’t say that I have given up. Anybody who knows me, knows that I am in capable of giving up on things (it is a gift and a curse). I am simply a shell right now. Certain friends and certain people have literally sucked me dry of my essence. I need to self heal. I need to not be around people who take from me without giving me what I deserve. I need to not be around people who take me for granted. I need to not be around people who want my love but give no love in return.

Seeing as how that’s 99% of the relationships I come across. I’m just done. So thank you to those people, and the universe for sending me those people, but I’m done. I feel like an empty shell left on the shore with the waves crashing down on me, reminding me that I’m hollow inside.

Again. I don’t want any negative comments, I sure as hell do not want any cliches, and I don’t want any sadness. This is just a glimpse into the dark side of being single, it is a glimpse into my 2%.

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